


Happily

by louloveslarry



Category: One Direction
Genre: Anorexia, Artist Louis, Bulimia, Depression, Eating Disorders, M/M, New York City, Photographer Harry, Self Confidence Issues, Self Harm
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-12-31
Updated: 2013-12-31
Packaged: 2018-01-06 22:37:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 869
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1112339
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/louloveslarry/pseuds/louloveslarry
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry is a new york photographer who is used to getting his heart torn out. He lives with chronic depression and self hatred. He glides through every day hoping it would be his last, he wasn't living, just barely breathing. He was given a wake up call when the boy of pure sunshine came into his life. Louis was an art student and loved painting harry until he found himself painting them together, and eventually the paintings became reality.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello there, this is the first story iv'e published ever so it would be wonderful if you gave me feedback and tell me how i could improve :) If enough people like this i will keep updating upon request, Thanks xx

Chapter 1:prologue 

He instantly felt stupid for trying to remember and only coming up with this. The air was cold and bitter when he woke up, shivering, laying on his back in the lonely abandoned park. He couldn't help but to compare it to how his heart felt; empty, aching and cold, so bloody cold. He remembers her name, of course, how could he forget... He also remembered how she ripped his heart out and threw it off the manchester bridge, but thats about all really. He wanted to remember what happened, but he couldn't bring he self to really try; it still hurt to much. Even though Harry has blocked it out many times over, he still wasn't over it. Even though he's much more into guys now than he thought he'd ever be, the scars left from that night will never fade, they will never go away, making them more like scabs just waiting to be picked at.

 


	2. Chapter 1: In The Morning I'll Be Gone

 

Chapter 1: In the morning i'll be gone

      As he lay in his empty bed, in his lonely appartment he finds himself shaking the thought again and again from his mind, almost rutinely now. He doesn't want to think about it, her, bridges, anything ever again. See, Harry's sort of stuck, stuck in a way one should never be. He's stuck in his thoughts, he's stuck in the darkness of his mind. His thoughts are constantly yelling at him, telling him he's not good enough, calling him names like: Fag, pathetic, waste of space. His thoughts make him feel like he's drowning and everyone else around him is just watching, laughing, pointing at his expense and that tears him apart the most. He's drowning in his own mind and can't catch his breath. It's a shame that he thinks this much, just tragic really. Hes thought of 101 reasons as to why he doesn't deserve his breakfast before he's even gotten out of bed to make it. 

      He peels away the white duvet and slowly sits up, every bone in his back craking as he carefuly raises his arms to wrap them around his head. He feels dizzy and light headed but thats nothing new. He swings his long legs over the edge of his king size bed and finds his slippers with his wiggling toes. As he pulls them on, he grabs hold of his night stand for balance before he makes the motion to stand up. He clenched his eyes and quickly makes his way onto his feet. He feels the sensation of passing out but welcomes the blackness with eager hands. He thinks to himself about what to eat but desides he shouldn't, ' _why should I? There's no point. I'm already disgusting why make it worse'._

      He shakes his head as the cloudiness passes and he sluggishly walks over to the shower, not even hesitating as he does his daily routine: 'Dash past the mirror and quickly undress before I see how revolting I look today'. But even though he doesn't look in the mirror he can  clearly see what he looks like in the shower. He glances down at his body with a frown quickly darkening his face and imediatly the screaming of his thoughts start again. They scream and shout and remind him of everything that makes him so revolting. He started to believing them along time ago. He wonders to himself, _'Why do i even try?'_ and then he remebers, _‘oh yeah...i don’t’_. And he doesn’t, he doesn’t try to talk to anyone, contact anyone or even really eat.

      He gets out of the shower just barely without triping and finds his way back to his bedroom, with one massive hand holding his  towel around his waist and the other on his fore head- eyebrows forrowed and nose scrunched at the ache of his head. He aproches his bedroom and walks over to the closet(better know as a small opening in the wall with a dangling light bulb on a string, stuffed with boots and to many hats). He pulls out a white T-shirt, a pair of boxers and some black skinny jeans with holes in the knees. He pulls his clothes on and instantly regrets the desision of trying to put skinny jeans on wet legs. He hops over to his bed on one foot and jumps onto his bum. He tugs on the fabrics until he finally gets them up. He does a little dance on his feet to get them passed his little bum and he evatually buttons them up. Now fully dressed he alows a puff of air to escape his lips as he ruffles his hair and thumps out of the bedroom again. But as he makes his way to the living room all the energy he’s just exerted catches up with him, he can feel the darkness aproaching for the second time that day, and with a ringing in his ears and flarring of his arms he knocks a picture frame off the wall and hits the floor with a loud, deathing thud. The quiet, sneaky, calming darkness evelopes him and he thinks to himself, _‘maybe its okay sometimes to disapear for a while’._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PLeAse leave feedbAcK

**Author's Note:**

> You can ask me things and follow my progress at: http://www.louloveslarry.tumblr.com  
> or my personal: http://mystic-mood.tumblr.com 
> 
>  
> 
> Your'e feedback would be lovellyyyy :))) xx  
> LEAVE KUDOS


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